The nightmare never ends

For adults who were traumatized by childhood abuse / sexual abuse, their nightmare never ends. They grow up and escape their abuser, but the scars they received at the time will never heal. They can never recapture the abundant losses that they experienced at the time: loss of innocense, loss of dignity, loss of their virginity, loss of self-respect; and the list goes on. For many of these adults, the fact that they survived is a miracle in itself - many do not survive or commit suicide because they cannot deal with the overwhelming trauma they've experienced. Others who continue to survive, are plagued with nightmares and flashbacks and feel as though they are continually broken and that no one can fix them. They feel that they are very alone and that no one can understand the forever pain that they feel.

This is the legacy that we leave for those who are victimized by abuse. It must be stopped.

What can victims do to help themselves?

There are times when the emotions and pain associated with a rape or sexual assault can be overwhelming. These feelings can come immediately after the assault or many years later. The following are things that you can do to help take care of yourself as you recover from the assault that you experienced.

• Make yourself a cup of tea, or a soothing warm drink.
• If it is safe to do so, go for a walk.
• Spend time talking with a trusted friend or family member.
• Take a bath.
• Spend time with a favorite pet.
• Workout, exercise helps to increase your bodies production of endorphins which help you to feel better.
• Read a favorite book.
• Write in your journal.
• Find a creative outlet- music, painting, writing poems, etc.
  Sign up for a self-defense course- it may help you to feel more in control.
• Eat healthy food
• Most importantly, remind yourself that it is alright for you to feel these emotions, they are normal reactions to an abnormal event.

There are also some things that victims of rape or sexual assault do to cope that are better to avoid:

• Relying on alcohol or drug use.
• Disclosing personal information in chat rooms or blogs.
• Seeking out situations in which you feel unsafe.
• Taking actions that undermine your self-worth.
• Using food and unhealthy eating as a way to control your body and emotional state.
• Inflicting harm on your body.
• Blaming yourself for what happened.

Remember that whether the rape happened to you as an adult or as a child, it was not your fault. You are not alone. There are many people who want to be there for you if you will let them - take it slow and let yourself heal physically and emotionally.