The nightmare never ends

For adults who were traumatized by childhood abuse / sexual abuse, their nightmare never ends. They grow up and escape their abuser, but the scars they received at the time will never heal. They can never recapture the abundant losses that they experienced at the time: loss of innocense, loss of dignity, loss of their virginity, loss of self-respect; and the list goes on. For many of these adults, the fact that they survived is a miracle in itself - many do not survive or commit suicide because they cannot deal with the overwhelming trauma they've experienced. Others who continue to survive, are plagued with nightmares and flashbacks and feel as though they are continually broken and that no one can fix them. They feel that they are very alone and that no one can understand the forever pain that they feel.

This is the legacy that we leave for those who are victimized by abuse. It must be stopped.

What can victims do to help themselves?

There are times when the emotions and pain associated with a rape or sexual assault can be overwhelming. These feelings can come immediately after the assault or many years later. The following are things that you can do to help take care of yourself as you recover from the assault that you experienced.

• Make yourself a cup of tea, or a soothing warm drink.
• If it is safe to do so, go for a walk.
• Spend time talking with a trusted friend or family member.
• Take a bath.
• Spend time with a favorite pet.
• Workout, exercise helps to increase your bodies production of endorphins which help you to feel better.
• Read a favorite book.
• Write in your journal.
• Find a creative outlet- music, painting, writing poems, etc.
  Sign up for a self-defense course- it may help you to feel more in control.
• Eat healthy food
• Most importantly, remind yourself that it is alright for you to feel these emotions, they are normal reactions to an abnormal event.

There are also some things that victims of rape or sexual assault do to cope that are better to avoid:

• Relying on alcohol or drug use.
• Disclosing personal information in chat rooms or blogs.
• Seeking out situations in which you feel unsafe.
• Taking actions that undermine your self-worth.
• Using food and unhealthy eating as a way to control your body and emotional state.
• Inflicting harm on your body.
• Blaming yourself for what happened.

Remember that whether the rape happened to you as an adult or as a child, it was not your fault. You are not alone. There are many people who want to be there for you if you will let them - take it slow and let yourself heal physically and emotionally.

Abused children become Anxious Adults

Statistics have proven that children who suffer abuse as they are growing up become adults with anxiety disorders and suffer from post traumatic stress (PTSD). In a survey of over 4000 people, 82% suffer from some type of anxiety related to childhood abuse. The worse the abuse, the stronger the risk in people to develop this maladies.

Over a quarter of a million Americans will develop PTSD at some point in their lives after being victimized or witnessing violence or other tramatic events. The major categories contributing to this number are surviors of child abuse, and the rates go much higher for war veterans.

These things should tell us that we have to do something to stop child abuse. It is unfair to our children to steal away their innocense in childhood to face the cruelty of abuse and then to be hit with a double whammy of anxiety disorders and PTSD as the aftermath of their survival. Will anyone speak for those who cannot speak for themselves?

April is Sexual Assault Prevention Month

April is the month that is set aside as National Sexual Assault Prevention Month. My question to you is what are you doing to help prevent sexual assaults? The statistics are staggering: in 2006, almost 250,000 victims of sexual assault - that means there's a sexual assault every 1-2 minutes. Over 60% of sexual assaults are never reported - either because of fear, embarrassment or whatever the reason. The saddest of all these statistics is that only 6% of rapists that are caught and prosecuted will ever spend one day in jail. (These statistics were taken from www.RAINN.org 's website).

I hope these statistics stir something within you as they did me and that we will work together to do all we can to stop this ever growing violation against men, women, and children.

The enduring nightmare

What most people do not realize is that children who have been abused are actually traumatized. For the most part, these children grow into adulthood trying to cope the best they can with their warped set of values since no one usually intervenes for them emotionally. As adults, these survivors continue to have difficulty in their day to day lives because the trauma of their abuse continues to haunt them over and over making their lives as adults unmanageable. This is why the suicide rate is so high for those who have been abused. We must do something to reach out to these forgotten group in our society and stop the abuse before another child is traumatized and enters the nightmarish cycle.

The Abuse Continues

Recently, world newspapers carried stories of 6 year olds being trained by the rebels in Iraq to be terrorist. Most people can only imagine what it would be like to be approached by a 6 year old child who will explode when you touch him or her. This type of thing plays on one's mental psyche. Imagine what it does to the child - if the child survives. Over and over again, we see in the world around us and in our own country just how expendible we feel children are. We are more upset about animal rights than we are those of abused children. This is nothing new. It is a story that has continued longer than the 50 years of my life. We must stop the trauma of abuse towards are children if we want to have any hope of a good future.

New Threat to U.S. Forces: Child Soldiers

This was the headline in Sunday, September 2, 2007 Parade Magazine from the Washington Post.

One of the growing dangers to our troops today is child soldiers. The same mind set that took me and others of my generation to train us to be child soldiers/terrorists, is still at work in our modern age. We criticize our men and women in uniform for killing children -- yet, they have literally seconds to decide if a child is a threat to them. A 10 year old pointing an AK-47 can be just as deadly to our soldiers as an adult soldier.

The question posed in the magazine article was whether or not they should prosecute the child soldier or the warlord that employed them. I think the answer to that question is obvious. If it weren't for the warlords believing they had some advantage of using children and that they believed children are expendible, there would be no children soldiers. Prosecute the warlords, let's stop this most horrible form of child abuse. It steals not only the child's innocence, but also, their minds, their very being is no longer their own -- even if they are rescued from this -- a part of them will always live in this past nightmare. It's up to us to work to make it stop!!!! What will you do?